Dear diary
Sunday
There was a great applause in the auditorium today. I delivered my best sermon yet. The story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego; how the three Hebrew boys, as scholars call them, had just refused to bow down to a foreign god. They were so passionate and rigid on their faith that they said they would rather die than bow. I felt it – it was a powerful sermon and I know people were encouraged to only bow down to God. It felt great- people coming to me after church to congratulate me. This is it, a start of my ground-breaking calling as a preacher- a lady preacher.
Wednesday
My day started off great, I got the call I had always been waiting for, Youth Funding Organization’s call. God knows I have been praying for funding for my new business and it has been very difficult for me . Praying every day, declarations, believing and no sign of rain. But this morning I knew it, God had answered my prayer. I only sent the application 2 weeks ago, but I have already received a call to come see them tomorrow – YAY! Isn’t God just wonderful. Can’t wait for tomorrow.
Thursday
I can’t believe this ☹. I am not sure if it is a good thing that I am even thinking about this. Sigh. So, the guy at YFO told me he can organize funding for me if I resubmit and ask for R500 000 extra on the initial R1 million rand and he will fast track it and ensure I have my funding end of the month. All I have to do is to give him the R 500 000 when I get the funds. If I refuse to do that he will make sure my application is declined. God, is that you giving me a breakthrough? I mean, it’s not like he is asking me to sleep with him or anything, I just have to show how I am going to use the R500 000 in case auditors check the paper trail but then it wont be mine. Arghhh… why??? I really need this break. Worst part of all is Thabang is on my case after I told her, telling me how this is exactly what Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego went through, just in modern day terms. Talk about throwing my sermon right back in my face hey. How is it the same though? They were bowing to an image, I’m not bowing down to any god, am I, God?
Saturday
I woke up late today, I just slept in. As difficult as it was for my hopes and dreams, I had to decline the offer. My spirit just couldn’t allow me to. I now understand how the Hebrew boys felt. Forced to bow down to the norms and ways that are against what I believe in despite the consequences of not giving in. What happens if I never get funding though? Is it the same as when they said they would rather die? I think it is true when Jesus spoke of temptation that come because of the Word, I mean , to go through such after my ‘powerful’ sermon??
Tshidi Tseke 
its always easy to say one will say no to bribing but lo and behold we fall in the same traps..the consequences are too great should it be found out that you bribed someone with the 500K you could land in jail but the principle is not just for when its something of this magnitude. learning to say no even on the smallest things that dishonor God i think will help us to make these decisions easy. If it is God’s breakthrough it won’t come with such strings, i’ll still submit my proposal and leave it to God and not entertain the other bad guy. God will make a way if this is what he wants for me.
True Tumi. It starts with the small things. Like, when you go to the spaza shop and they give you extra change and you notice it, do you take it back or count it as a blessing. its not an easy thing to practice, especially if you have, for example been failing a drivers license test 20 times and your current job tells you should you not get it in the next 3 months you will be out fo a job, and traffic officers say they will fail you if you dont pay a bribe…. what do you do… would you rather be without a job? Would you rather die?
Thank you for mme Tseke for ur “LIVE LOVE LAUGH ” page am one person who learns a lot from this and not only this but ur status too on Facebook. I see u as a God fearing woman who is very much blessed with everything u needed……Thank you…..really God can test us with just small things not being aware of rere Modimo afe ka letsogo leka leoto wa ragela (don’t know were this is from but heardon’t of it).Somethings are just difficult but I have learned that everything is possible with God I just need to have that FAITH to get that job without bribing.
May the good God keep on blessing u to share more on ur page and Facebook. Stay blessed 😚
Thank you Tshidi for you comment and support. It is always good to know that the things one does do contribute positively to someone out there. Thanks and stay blessed.