“I’m going to hell”- I thought

There was a point in my life when I was convinced with all that I was that I was going to hell. It sounds a bit extreme but that is how I felt; sure. As sure as I was that I had two legs, I was sure that I was going to hell. I had received Christ into my life at some point, so this did not happen before I got born again but while I was a born again believer.

What had led to such a conviction in my heart? After receiving the Lord into my life I struggled a lot with consistency when coming to reading the Word and spending time in prayer etc. I would be on fire the one week and totally out of it for following weeks and then come back to being on fire and drain out etc…. I had gotten to the point where I thought I couldn’t please God, and that He surely has had enough of me

I had tried with all my efforts to please Him and had ‘failed’ so many times that it did not make sense to me how He can still put up with me. The devil had also fed me a lie brewed freshly from hell’s pit that I was those kind of Christians who would wind up in hell anyway, that as much as God knows the future, He already knows I’m going to hell. Because of all these, I judged myself in condemnation and deemed myself worthy of punishment because my works failed God.

Because we grow up in a world that has a strong merit system, it is hard to understand God’s grace in one’s life. We grow up knowing that it is only when you do good things and the right things that you are loved, that you pass, that you are rewarded. You hardly experience a moment when you can fail someone a hundred times and they still feel the same hope and confidence in you as they did the first time you did something. And because of that many Christians find it hard to accept and walk in God’s grace and love, because it’s a different system.

God’s grace is God’s influence in your life to do and walk as He pleases. It is through grace that you can! Relying on His grace will cause you to walk in ways that please Him. The Word says we are born again by grace through faith so that it be not of works (Eph 2:8) and this is how we live.

Our minds need to be renewed into knowing that God is full of love, mercy and grace and that His love is not merit conditioned. It was when I heard the Word of God’s love and grace and meditated on it that my mind was renewed to what God thoughts are about me, and that liberated me for the lie of the devil and self condemnation, and because my mind has been renewed to that Word through His Spirit I know the truth and I cannot entertain any lie. And above all, I enjoy spending time with the Holy Spirit in the Word and prayer and it is not achore. God loves me, and I am not condemned, I am seated with Christ in the heavenly places and it is late for the devil and his lies because I know who I am.

If you are struggling with condemnation, ask the Holy Spirit to help you with that and with the very thing you feel you are ‘failing’ to do. Read and meditate on God’s Word that speaks about Gods love for you and about you. Know yourself else the devil will lie to you.. Frustrate not the grace of God,walk in it.

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